Even if you don't know what to say to me, saying anything is better than not acknowledging my loss at all. I already feel like the world just keeps on turning even though I can barely drag myself out of bed. No one seems to care that my reason for living is now a pile of ashes nestled in an angel urn on my mantle. I need to know that you care and that although you don't have a full grasp on the intensity of my pain, you still realize that it is real. So real and enveloping that I can't always talk about it and that right now I have bad days and really bad days.
The pain will lessen as time goes on, but I am not the same person I used to be. Life has taken on a new meaning for me and I won't have use for some of the nonsense that this world has to offer. I am a little more self aware and have a very strong sense of self preservation, which means I may seem selfish at times, but don't mean to hurt your feelings. I am not broken, however, and can tell when you are avoiding me. I am sorry if you feel uncomfortable around me, but none of this was my fault and I am doing the best I can. I breath in and out hoping for God's peace to fill my heart a little more each day.
Please let me talk when I need to and don't keep me from crying, it is good for the soul.
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